The Pan-Eurasian Bike Trip

That said though, the terrain is getting interesting, mountains are more common, we climb high into the birch forests for whole days and then descend onto the windy plains for days battling the headwind.  Towns are less common and stranger, sometimes you go in and it is a complete loss, you have to go 2 k off the main road, everyone is drunk and there is nothing to really eat, other times it is almost a magical experience as you meet wonderful people who help you or take care of you and there is a plentiful store or a very nice cafe.  The weather is following a similar unpredictable pattern, sometimes you still pass blocks of melting snow, even as the weather is about 85 degrees, and yet the very next day you are looking at blooming lilacs as you face horrible wind and are freezing all day long bundled up in most of your clothing.   We were on a mission to get to Blago, we rode with little distraction, granted not very fast, I was still recovering, but we were riding consistently everyday, by the sixth day we were ready for Blago, and immediately upon entering the city we knew it was going to be a good off town, as we call our rest cities.  We met up with Olga, who showed us to the dormitory room we would be occupying, although in all fairness I should call it a Dorm Suite, it was a beautiful thing for two weary travellers, seeing a room for each of us and a kitchen to make our obnoxiously large pasta meals. "Now boys tomorrow we have talk at the University for you, and unfortunately we have to meet with TV, the wanted to meet you today, but I said NO! they will do everything tomorrow." A queen!! she condensed all the talking into one day, in Khabarovsk everyday we had a different event to go to, here we just had one day, we wanted to hire her as our agent and translator right away.  She then proceeded to tell us a bit about the history of Blagoveshchensk, how the name meant Good News (you're telling us!! and you didn't even ride into it!"). It was founded after the Russians acquired the territory from the Chinese in a treaty during the 1800's.  It sits just across the Amur River from China, you can stroll along the river and probably throw stones (i still have a few stuck in my teeth luckily) at China and yell at them for polluting the Amur so badly that it acts more effectively as a border deterent than a 30 foot wall with armed guards (don't get any ideas border states).    The next day as promised we did the television interviews, which are all shockingly similar, they ask the same questions, make us pack up the bikes and ride them around a parking lot (this one was scarily filled with used needles). Then usually they try and get some exclusive footage, this time they wanted us to pretend to cook in our kitchen, jokingly we tossed a bunch of bagged fruit and bread into a pot and covered it.  "Oh wait," I declared "we forgot the salt" we grabbed the whole bag and tossed it in, proudly proclaiming "Borsch Americanski!!!" They loved it and needless to say that night we saw us playing cooks on about 3 TV channels, what is this country coming to? (they have also adapted translated in it's entirety "Married With Children", new cast same exact episodes and jokes, so that a person like myself who hasn't seen an episode in 10 years can say oh my god I still know that the Russian Al is about to put his hand down his pants!)

Then after play hour with the television crews (we often take photos and video them as they are taping us). We headed to talk at the Amur State University, it was a lot like the talks we have given at the American Corners before this, we talk for a while, everyone is obsessed and in hysterics about our encounter with Stas (see a previous blog "to hail with it")and eventually someone asks whether we like Russian girls, we say of course, everyone laughs and that is usually about the last question of the session.  We had one more treat though in store for "media day". I gues I ha misunderstood Olga when she said there was another TV thing to do, I for some reason thought it was a school based show where we would talk with students. Next thing I know we are in a television station in the middle of the city. Thankfully, it is hard to take anything seriously when you hand everyone you meet a card that says "The Idiots" right on it, because I suddenly found myself sitting on one of those stages they read the 5 o clock news at in my rain pants and a pirate shellfish t-shirt (obvious sponsor plug) that hadn't been washed in weeks wondering if I should brush off the cookie crumbs.  Luckily I was suddenly besieged by a babushka who put a smock around my shirt and began doing my MAKEUP!!! Watching 2 guys who are pathetically trying to grow peach fuzz beards, in stained t-shirts being fussed over by a Russian Babushka was quite a sight, luckily Olga snapped some pictures.

Things got even better for us here in Blagoveshchensk, we spent saturday helping a teacher with her research for her PHD, which is dealing with American phonetics. She needed us to gather Data, which I can only say must be ridiculously difficult, Blagoveshchensk does not attract a lot of American tourists, let alone those that stay long enough for Svetlana to track down, apparently she hadn't had any new data in years, we were glad to help, plus we just got to banter on into a microphone about our pet peeves, Russian roads and Russian internet.  But the really good news was that the next day we would be going to the public banya here in Blagoveshchensk.   Now we have been to a couple of banyas before, and it has been great, a couple of guys going in for a good hot steam and hanging out, very relaxing and very clean and nice.  But nothing beats a public banya, it's where you see the professional banya men, walking in with their duffle bags, stripping down to nothing and pulling out their "banya kits" in little plastic bags, the wool banya hat in a shape that hasn't changed probably since they were created, sandles made of reeds to keep your feet out of the biological disaster that is the water on the floor, and big wool oven mitts to keep your hands cool as you beat yourself or a friend with your home made bundle of birch twigs.  It is just a different scene.   We  went with Kolya and his son Jena, as we walked in I immediately taken back to St. Petersburg, the last place I went to a public Russian banya and the last time i smelled that pungent mix of chlorine and BO. However unlike the last time I went, where the banya was poorly lit, with men slugging down vodka and pickles in every corner between sessions of scalding themselves in the banya and rolling around in the snow, it was mid afternoon on a sunday, it was family time.  I though it was strange for Kolya to bring his son to a place that I so readily associated with binge drinking, but it was mostly just fathers and sons enjoying a good wholesome time of scalding your skin and beating the crap out of each other with dried leaves, running  out and jumping into a really cold pool and running back into the scalding heat all while being completely naked, sounds like father son bonding to me.   The Banya itself was certianly the grossest/best one we have been to yet, most of the private banyas don't have the skin itching heat that 2 guys who have ridden 1000 miles and just crossed their first time zone want and deserve, but the public banya with itsa industrial strength heaters gets you shedding layers (of skin) fast. After my first round out, I was stumbling out when Kolya poinbted out the very cold pool (I wasn't quite ready for that) and the warm pool, which was like a big swimming pool. I wandered over to the warm pool, seeing so many people in it I assumed it was the place to be, at first I thought my eyes were decieving me, but as I got closer I knew it was no joke the water was nice murky brown, perhaps they just divert some of the Amur into a swimming pool. From then on it was the shower for me, probably not any better but at least it looked clear. Actually later a guy made me do the traditional get incredibly hot (you turn red) by beating yourself with birch twigs, then run and jump into the cold pool and ten run in and beat yourself some more.  The sensation I think is probably similar to an out of shape guy running at a dead sprint for a half mile, your heart is thumping out of your chest, I guess that is how the Russians get their kicks, by simulating heart attacks.   There probably won't be much heard from us for the next few weeks, as we are heading out to the remote section of our trip (according to the map, NOW we hit the offroad) so you'll just have to entertain yourself with videos and photos from this section of which I successfully uploaded many of for your viewing pleasure. In about 3 weeks you'll get inundated with a ton more blogs and photos, and we will be nearing Lake Baikal. ellski