The Pan-Eurasian Bike Trip

It hasn't been easy, but 7 years after hatching this plan in the dorms of Alfred, 8 months of intense planning and 2 months of fundraising and planning with Levi and I both living at my parents house I am sitting in a computer lab in Vladivostok, struggling with the only russian computer and internet that makes dial-up look efficient.  Getting the money wasn't easy, working non-stop all summer, still coming up short, we spent months planning and writing emails to anyone who would listen asking for sponsorship and gear discounts with minimal success, we sold T-shirts and ourselves with much better success, although the number of times we were told "So you're just getting everyone else to pay for your vacation" or "So what part of your trip are you on right now?" was mind numbing. However we made it!! On the 24th I got on a plane to meet Levi in London, amazingly British Air didn't even look twice at our huge bike boxes and our other oversized luggage, just checked it all through and said "cheers!".  However by the time we reached Moscow we realized that it wasn't going to be the airlines that would be the trouble (or at least so we thought) it would be getting the luggage to the different airports and to the school, each time we had to rent an entire van to carry all our stuff, luckily most Russian taxi drivers were just dying to accomodate for several thousand roubles.  Our first trip was from one airport in moscow to the baggage storage in another airport, along the way we were disappointed to see that McMansions had now emigrated to Russia, Thousands of luxury houses surrounded by little russian shacks (dachas).  We reached our Hostel and promptly met another lunatic, Adam Contra, who had just finished driving his truck around the Arctic circle of Norway and Russia just for fun, and even more ominous, he was 43 and had done several amazing trips including sailing from Australia to central America, I guess this might not be "The Last Trip"  "So why are you on this trip Adam?" " Well I was doing fuck-all watching the economy tank so I sold my house and everything I had and packed the car, you should have seen the bloody Russian border guards when I crossed into Russia with this huge landrover and trailer." YIKES!  The next day we met up with one of my friends from St. Petersburg, Erika, who proceeded to take us around the city and introduce The Idiots to dried fish jerky, a smelly but delicious russian staple just look out for jerkified bones and don't forget to peal off the skin!  The weather in Russia in total has been unbelievable while we were in Moscow it was like a spring thaw, it was almost exactly 32 the entire time, which comparatively is fantastically warm. 

                               The Idiots

 

 Finally after a nice tour of the Kremlin and such we headed to the airport, where things would really get interesting. We were flying Aeroflot, now I know what you are going to say "Aeroflot!!! the airline with wooden seats and a track record only a mother could love? why on earth would you do that?" But things have improved at aeroflot, they are part of one of those airline partnerships now, that has to count for something. Besides how many reputable airlines do you think flyfrom Moscow  to Vladivostok? We managed to get through the 2 rounds of security before check in very well, mostly by taking out the t-shirt and pointing to what we were doing, eventually the security would just give up and laugh. But now came check in, we knew that we would have to pay 100 dollars a peice to get our bikes through, so we were shocked when the check in woman just put them on the conveyor belt and seemed to be just letting us go, we looked at each other "really? awesome!!" however we didn't see the man lurking behind her.  She gave him our tickets and passports and he motioned to us "you will have to pay excess baggage fee" at which piont he whipped out a calculator and proceeded to add up our total, which started with numbers like 7 and 23 which made us think it was in dollars, eventually he came up with the total of 23,478 to which our jaws dropped, even in roubles that is quite a bit of money, "now I give you discount" and he put in 15,000, looked around suspiciously and handed us one of the passports and said "you go get the money from ATM, put money in and give back to me" perfect a bribe in the secure airport. Not only thatt, but the ATMs in the gate section didn't work for us so he brought us out the back door to an atm outside (I guess they have a different idea of "Secure Area") and let us get him his money, which he promptly pocketed and handed us our tickets.  
    

                                  The Gear 

 

We took our seats on the flight "well at least that is over, next stop Vladivostok, no more bribes, just one more van rental and we are in the dorms!" Now all that I have said in defence of Aeroflot was forgotten in the first moment of takeoff, when the PA system alternated from way to low for us to hear to that annoying screech when the amp and microphone are too close together.  Then came dinner which interestingly enough was fish which still had bones in it, and a salad of shrimp and raw salmon. Daring moves on flying bird with only 2 or 3 restrooms and 40,000 feet in the air. Shortly after the meal was served and we had settled in our seats for a good 8 time zone snooze, it was apparent that we were taking a slightly diverted course "oh must be some bad weather in northern Siberia, we are going to stay in the southern half. A few hours later (things are big in siberia) we were approaching the city of Novosibirsk, essentially completely out of our way. "Ladies and gentlemann" the muffled PA system announced "we are going to make an unscheduled stop in Novosibirsk, we will be there in thirty minutes" at which point there was a loud screech and we were left to look at the babushkas next to us, who also seemed to sense the end was near, one of which to kill the tension started making fun of my curly hair. We together with our new stout friends, spent the next 25 minutes laughing and trying to act calm with sign language, then as we neared the runway not only did the shrieking begin again but red lights started flashing above each of the flight attendants heads no doubt signalling that everything was fine and they shouldn't head to the escape pod. We touched down, safely and proceeded to spend the next 3 hours announcement free sitting on the tarmac.  Levi and I only had two concerns, one that they would try and extort another bribe from us for the bikes if we changed planes (can you get reciepts with bribes?) and two that they would try and get us off the ground without telling us why the fuck we were in Novosibirsk.  The Russians were stoic, no one complained children didn't cry no one demanded free drinks or anything, it was quite impressive. Eventually the pilot announced "we had some sick passengers" (ha ha I told you raw fish, shellfish and boney fish was a mistake!) and we would be continuing on shortly which, suprisingly was a smooth finish, well again except for the flashing lights (now a common occurence) and the screeching. Oh and we skipped the breakfast. We arrived in Vladivostok at 2 in the afternoon, and couldn't check in to the dorms until the next day so we spent the night at the airport hotel, not wanting to have to rent two vans.  
  

                                The City

 

The next morning we saw Vladivostok, how can I describe the impression that this city is making on me? Made up terms like "industrial farming" and "concrete gardens" come too mind.  Industry is king here although from what I can gather they don't produce anything.  And the cars!! My God the Cars!! You perhaps have seen riots that ensue when the Russian Government tries to up the car import tariff here? Now I see why, not that they need anymore. This parking lot of a city blows the mind, I swear they have taken all the cars in the New York area and condenced them into a city a tenth the size, you are never not negotiating around a car.  No wonder when I looked on weather.com for the forcast in vladivostok it was "Smoke". I was later told that this city and the surrounding area is not a UNESCO Heritage Site, but a UNESCO Disaster zone, which makes sense when you look at the color of the smoke billowing from the smoke stacks intermittently dispersed along with heavy powerlines throughout the city. Where better to start a green bike trip!!  But there is a certain charm, my mother who loves industrial sprawl would I think enjoy a day or two here, and there is a very nice Tsarist era center with a beautiful port and some nice soviet statues. We love it for no other reason than the fact that we have been dreaming of this city for 8 months and now we each have our own rooms, a very nice Babushka who lives on our floor and the school administration couldn't be kinder.  Although as of now they have yet to discover what to do with us and we just have a week to regroup (which is good because it turns out that 15 time zones in 5 days leaves you vaguely ill and on the strangest schedule you can imagine, we are currently sleeping two seperate times a day 3-7pm and then again 11pm-4am).
ellski

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